Writing your own wedding vows is one of the most personal and meaningful parts of your wedding day. It’s your chance to tell your partner exactly why you love them and what you promise for your future together.
If you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed, don’t worry. This guide will walk you through a simple, stress-free process to write vows that feel authentic to you.
1. Start with a Brainstorm
Before you try to write perfect sentences, just jot down notes. Set a timer for 15 minutes and answer these questions:
- When did you know they were "the one"?
- What do you respect most about them?
- What hard times have you overcome together?
- What do you want your life to look like in 10 or 20 years?
- What small quirks do you love about them?
2. Follow a Simple Structure
Great vows often follow a 4-part structure. You can use this as an outline:
The Opening
Address your partner directly. You can start with "Name," "My love," or "My best friend." Example: "Sarah, you are my best friend and my greatest adventure."
The Story (The "Why")
Share a brief memory or quality that explains why you are marrying them. Example: "I love how you make everyone around you feel seen, and how you've taught me to be more patient."
The Promises (The "What")
This is the core of your vows. Include both serious promises (fidelity, support) and lighthearted ones. Example: "I promise to listen when you need to talk, and to pretend to like your cooking even when I don't."
The Closing
End with a final declaration of love and a look toward the future. Example: "I choose you today, tomorrow, and every day for the rest of my life."
3. Keep it Concise
Aim for 1 to 2 minutes when spoken aloud. This usually translates to 150–250 words. Long vows can lose the audience's attention (and make you more nervous).
4. Practice Out Loud
Writing is only half the battle. Read your vows out loud to catch awkward phrasing or tongue-twisters. If you stumble over a sentence every time, rewrite it to be simpler.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can I read my vows from a phone?
It’s better to read from a vow book or a piece of paper. Phones can glare in photos, lock unexpectedly, or look casual. A vow book is a nice keepsake.
Should we write our vows together?
You don't have to write them together, but you should agree on the tone (funny vs. serious) and length beforehand so they feel balanced.
Is it okay to copy vows I found online?
Absolutely. It's okay to take a vow you love and tweak it to fit your relationship. Authenticity matters more than originality.
Ready to find inspiration? Browse our collection of Romantic Wedding Vows or Short Wedding Vows to get started.